10 Weird Things That Secretly Strengthen a Young Marriage

When people talk about building a strong marriage, they usually mention communication, trust, forgiveness, and commitment. They're right. Those things matter.

But after watching marriages, talking to couples, and living life myself, I've realized something else.

Sometimes it's the weird little things that quietly hold a marriage together.

The things no one puts in premarital counseling notes.

The moments that seem insignificant... until one day you realize they've become the glue.

Here are ten of my favorites.

1. Having ridiculously pointless inside jokes.

Every healthy marriage needs at least one joke that nobody else understands.

The kind that starts because someone mispronounced a word six years ago and somehow still makes you both laugh today.

Those moments create a tiny world that belongs only to the two of you.When my wife and I became parents, at some point we couldn't say certain things because they would trigger our kids to start crying for them. For instance, we couldn't say "yogurt" when my toddler son was listening. Unless we were ready to give him some, otherwise we would have to deal with the meltdown of him crying his voice hoarse because, after hearing about it, all of a sudden, he developed a craving.

Or sometimes we couldn't mention the name of his cousins because he would suddenly spend the next 5 hours bugging us to go visit him so that they can play together. So my wife and I started developing our own language that only us understood. 

So instead of Yogurt, we said "Yuorguscious" said exactly how it's read. Instead of mentioning his cousin, Meikan, we would say "Meks the Beks". We did this with so many words that sometimes we could have a full-blown conversation even in the presence of our friends, and none of them would have the slightest idea of what we were talking about.

There was definitely a weird joy that we still get from this till today.

Protect it.

2. Looking absolutely terrible together.

If your spouse has only seen your Instagram version, you're doing marriage backwards.

Real intimacy begins somewhere between oversized T-shirts, messy hair, morning breath, and "Please don't look at me until I've had coffee."

Love grows where pretending dies.

Your spouse shouldn't be a stranger to your bad breath in the morning. They should be able to differentiate between your spouse's farts and everyone else because of how often they have smelt it. I still can't stand my wife's fart. I can barely stand my own. But if I go to a party with 50 people and they all farted, I can tell you which one belongs to my wife. She can probably tell you which one is mine too. LOL.

Before we lose the plot, this blog isn't about farts, it's about not being embarrassed or afraid of uncovering your unpleasantries before your spouse.

3. Grocery shopping like it's a date.

I don't know why this works.

But somehow walking around arguing over which cereal is cheaper, sneaking snacks into the trolley, and debating whether you really need ice cream can become one of your favorite memories.

Marriage isn't built only on holidays.

It's built in aisle seven. Arguing about small things isn't a sign of a weak marriage. It's a sign that you married a normal human being who has preferences and personal tastes. Of course, this shouldn't get to the point where it drives a rift between your union.

4. Fighting over the blanket instead of fighting each other.

Marriage has taught me that two grown adults can own a king-size bed and still somehow end up on six inches of mattress.

You'll steal covers.

They'll deny it.

You'll both wake up innocent. 

Some mysteries were never meant to be solved.

5. Creating strange little traditions.

Family Fridays.

Saturday morning pancakes.

A handshake before leaving the house.

A goofy dance whenever good news arrives.

The tradition doesn't have to impress anyone.

It just has to remind you, "This is us."

This especially becomes a cornerstone of a strong family once kids get involved. Children are magnets to traditions. Small routines that create lasting memories shape who they become. In fact, children tie their identities to cultures and traditions. But it starts with the two of you. And it doesn't start with writing down a long list of things to do every day; it starts with simple organic experiences that morph into traditions.

6. Sending completely unnecessary messages.

"I'm thinking about you."

"I saw a dog that looked like you."

"I just remembered something funny."

No agenda. No emergency.

Just little reminders that even in the middle of busy lives, you're still choosing each other.

How naughty you want to go depends on your couple risk-appetite, but I have indeed seen that being naughty with your spouse, doing things and sending chats and pictures that you cannot send anyone else, is a healthy way of strengthening your bond. Of course, you have to be mindful of the risks surrounding data leaks and such.

7. Being weird enough to dance in the kitchen.

Not because either of you can dance.

Because neither of you cares.

Marriage isn't sustained by perfection.

It's sustained by shared joy.

Sometimes that joy looks suspiciously like two adults embarrassing themselves while waiting for the tea to boil.

8. Running silly errands together.

Picking up milk, returning a package, buying tomatoes.

These don't sound romantic.

Until years later when you realize your happiest memories weren't always the expensive ones.

They were the ordinary moments you experienced side by side.

9. Laughing before proving you're right.

Here's a painful truth.

Very few marriages have been saved because someone won the argument.

Many have been strengthened because someone smiled, softened, and remembered, "We're on the same team."

Sometimes peace is a better victory than being right.

10. Celebrating the tiny wins.

A good cup of tea.

Finally fixing that leaking tap.

Paying off a bill.

Making it through a hard week.

Life gives us enough reasons to stress.

Healthy couples become experts at finding reasons to celebrate.

Even the small ones.

Because joy, like love, grows where it's noticed.

A strong marriage isn't built only by surviving the big storms.

It's built by collecting thousands of small moments that quietly whisper, "I'm glad I'm doing life with you."

Never underestimate the power of the ordinary.

One day, you'll discover it was extraordinary all along.